November 19, 2019

I had one of those stare-at-myself-in-the-mirror, self-talk, what-am-I-doing-with-my-life type of mornings a few weeks ago. I’d fallen victim to the social media vortex and had spent enough time down the rabbit hole to spark some self-reflection on the choices I’d made that had landed me in the position I was currently sitting in. I’m grateful for my life as it is, but I’d zigged when most other friends in their 20’s had zagged, and I was feeling a little behind in somebody else’s race. In addition, the world had worn me out, and I was stewing in the sheer magnitude of how broken everything around me seemed. A gentle reminder to elevate my view helped snap me out of the downward spiral, but it had me thinking about those moments in my life that were instrumental in shaping the man I had become. How did I get here?

For some of us, the position we’re currently sitting in is the result of a collection of decisions that we’ve been afforded the opportunity to make over the course of our lifetimes. It’s sometimes difficult to trace the rope back to a single event that initiates a shift in our trajectory, but I find it incredibly interesting and enlightening to try.

I landed on an encounter from a few years ago that I attribute a great deal of change in my life to. It was one of those instances that shattered my preconceived notions about how life works, and forced me to view the world through a newly acquired lens.

A Cup Of Coffee

I was a couple of years into my real estate career and things were going relatively well. As a new agent, I’d fumbled my way through the harsh stages of the learning curve and thought I had a pretty good grasp on what it took to operate a moderately successful real estate business.

I decided that one of my holiday prospecting campaigns was going to be the distribution of $5 Tim Hortons coffee gift cards to random folks in the mall at Christmas time. What should’ve simply been a nice gesture to spread a little holiday cheer was instead a bit of a selfish attempt to extract a couple of potential leads from my efforts. I attached my business card, wrote a small blurb about my interest in helping unsuspecting shoppers out with their real estate needs, and distributed the envelopes to some friendly faces. I left the mall shortly after I’d handed out my last greeting card and anxiously waited for my next potential client to reach out. Sure enough, an email showed up in my mailbox the following morning. Anticipating I’d be setting an appointment to list a property at some point in the future, I excitedly opened it.

“Hi Scott,

Friday, tired after an appointment at University Hospital and an afternoon of shopping, I was standing at the bottom of the staircase in the food court waiting for my husband to come down on the elevator. When passing by, you handed me an envelope with a smile and a Merry Christmas greeting. You will never know what that meant to us that day. Opening the envelope, I read the card signed Scott before noting your calling card. You see, several years ago, we lost Scott, our 21 year-old son who loved life, was everybody’s friend, and on occasion, would bring home a Tim Horton’s coffee for Mom and Dad. We do not live in the London area so will likely never meet, but we will certainly enjoy a warm beverage on you. Merry Christmas and may you be blessed with a very successful New Year.

M & K”

I’d always had an inclination that connectivity and the power of story were foundational elements of the human experience, but that message hit me like a freight train and drove those themes so strongly into me. I spent the better part of my morning reading over M & K’s email, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the serendipitous timing and impact of our exchange. I was grateful for M and K’s willingness to send along that email to include me in their story, and I felt honoured to be the vessel that provided them with a gentle reminder of their son’s love. But that email resonated with such force that something changed for me in that moment of time. A clarity struck. There I’d been, selfishly mining for my next real estate deal, and in return, I received what I would consider to be one of the most important lessons of living the human experience.

I have referenced that email countless times since it landed in my mailbox 4 years ago. What a gift that email was. I am a more compassionate, empathetic, and aligned person thanks to that pivot point and the sequence of events that unfolded because of it. It serves as my reminder to live and love fully, to cultivate connection, and to be an active participant in listening to the stories of others when they’re being told to me. I believe so strongly in the importance of sharing those stories. Our global humanity is woven into them. They show us how similar and connected we are, and we need to believe in that connectivity in order to realize the change that is so desperately needed in this world.

I’m embarrassed to admit that my reply to M and K’s email didn’t happen immediately. I wasn’t able to find the words to let them know just how impactful the entire experience was. After two years, I was able to connect with M and K over a cup of Tim Hortons coffee. It was, and will likely be, the most meaningful cup of coffee I’ll ever have.